Why we say yes when we mean no

Saying yes is a habit that starts from a very young age. Situations like fearing your authority figures, your parents or your teachers. Being so powerless, not sure how to go on especially at a young age when you see yourself so dependent and you have no choice but please, say yes and do what you are told to do.

These situations can cripple and paralyze the person’s freewill to choose, to speak up and to be themselves. Because it becomes so ingrained in the subconscious mind which results to becoming apart of your identity.

Then when the time comes you wanna change that habit, it's not that easy and takes time and patience. We are talking about years and years of conditioning.

After showing a context of how this habit was created, here are few reasons why we say yes when we mean no:

1- The need to be safe and secured from danger and risk

2- The need to belong to a tribe or a community

3- To not be rejected and abondoned by family and society.

4- To prove ourselves’ worthiness and that we are enough

5- Because we haven't taken the time to process our past childhood trauma

6- To conform and fit in with the society

7- To hide and stay invisible

8- Because when we said no when we were young, we were severely punished and looked at in a negative way.

11- Because when we say no, it means we won't meet others’ expectations of us which means we might lose the people we love.

12- Because of the conflict that arises between our desires and the cultural values and cues. When the culture sends you signs that you are not appreciated and accepted if you say no, automatically your mind will go into the defense and security mode and protect itself by saying yes.

Looking at the list of reasons, it clearly shows that the environment we live in has a significant impact on us and our minds’ processing patterns. If we create an environment where it expects us to come out, to express ourselves freely, to speak up and to say the truth, what would happen to our minds' patterns and cycles?