To be seen…

We have a need to be seen for who we are. We like to be remembered and missed when we are gone.

But what is it about hiding and avoiding to be seen? This comes from the roots of childhood. How were you seen? What conversations you had? Were you held and accepted when you did mistakes or were you rejected and punished? What the home environment looked like for you? These props can give you a basics to understand your behaviors today.

When I watch TED talks of people talking about the need to be seen for who we are, there was this interesting term I heard. It is called “the silent pandemic”. People being so silent and avoidant. Shutting up when you need to express your opinion in a meeting. Keeping quite when you need to make a boundary with another person. Hiding your truth when your friend controls you. All these indicate a wound and not a need. We think we need to be safe and protected. But actually its a deep internal wound to avoid hurt and pain again.

Its easy to say: Ok. So how to fix this? Give me advise. But the truth is its not a quick and fix thing. It takes process, patience and time. Sometimes the environment we are put in also plays a role in this. And the kind of people we interact with regularly. A difficult part is when we create a gray part in the middle where we are not sure, shall I just express myself openly or I just ignore it and let the situation pass as if nothing happened? Its hard when you keep negotiating and doubting yourself like that.

Anyhow just follow the truth. The truth always beats everything. As Allah says in his Quran Book to not shy away from the truth and to remember him instead of remembering the people around us. At the end we are all separate individuals put on this earth with unique needs and personalities. Although we come together as tribes and communities, we still remain separate from each other with our visions, needs and aspirations.