Emotional Entitlement!

What is emotional entitlement? This is when you see a person depending on another for his or her emotional satisfaction. For example, a spouse feeling bad or sad or depressed and expecting his other half to meet him emotionally whether by inviting him out or sweet talking him. There are many scenarios like that.

It doesn’t just come randomly. It started many generations ago. If not aware of this habit, it can cause unnecessary conflicts and gaps in family relationships. Another reason we use this is the roles we give ourselves. The roles of a parent, mother or father, son or daughter, boss or colleague, or whatever roles we give ourselves. Because of these roles, we think we are entitled to be emotionally satisfied. Otherwise, something is wrong either with us or with the other person.

If we look at this from a distance, are we really supposed to be emotionally entitled? Are our loved ones really supposed to make us content and happy? Is our happiness and emotional satisfaction linked to the other person behaviour? Asking these questions regularly can shed some light on this and tell us the truth.

With regards to this habit, because we are humans and we are weak and vulnerable, we can easily get pulled. It takes a continuous processing and reflecting to see underneath this belief.

One of my favourite things I do to detangle this habit is refer to the recites in the holy book of Quran. You see several parts of the book where Allah points to the fact we were created weak. We easily feel sad, tightened, pressured and affected. But he also points to the fact that a divine blessing, stillness, peace and comfort can relieve us from those painful feelings if we take action regularly, look at it from another angle and remember the truth of our existence here.

At the end, emotions are there for us to feel them all. They are not meant to be manipulated or fixed or surpressed. They are there for us to ask the tough questions, reflect, find the truth and move on.