The power of choice in parenting!
Generations ago, parenting was like: I am the parent and you are the child. You should listen to me and obey. You have no choice.
Nowadays, things are shifting and changing. We see parents giving their kids the space to choose the kind of food to eat, the fashion of clothes to wear and the place to go to for entertainment.
You may wonder: How can I balance this well that would bring up the best in the child’s upbringing? Well giving the child the space to choose is an empowering act. It tells the child: You exist. You have opinions of your own. You matter.
On the other side of this, sometimes you see parents go to the extremes with this. For instance, when kids are allowed to behave inappropriately or when they don’t receive guidance and support from the parents or caregivers. That is where the power of choice in parenting would work against us.
I remember this simple scenario when my toddler refuses food. Instead of me frustrating and blaming him for being a fussy eater, I open up the space for him to choose the kind of food he prefers. When I did that, his feeding improved and my struggling became less.
Another incident is during the studying for exam phase. When my girls are studying, I check on with them how they are studying. Instead of me telling them my preferred study method, I see what is their preference and start there. When doing that, their interest in studying increased, their efforts doubled and we didn’t feel the hours of studying. It became a smooth and easy process.
I know still many parents don’t believe in the power of choice in parenting and that could spoil their kids’ upbringing. If you are in this spot, just ask yourself this: If I was that child and I didn’t get any space to choose, what will my future look like? If I was that child and I was forced to listen only with no opinions of my own, what would that make me as a person? Write your answers here and take your time. Your answers will tell you the truth and from there you may start to find the little adjustments you can make.