Shame and Embarrassment!
Shame and embarrassment is something that has been ingrained in many of us for centuries. We get embarrassed when a person criticizes our outfit. We feel ashamed if a member in the team realizes you don’t know what they are talking about.
The environment and culture aound us did a very good job to instill these characters in us. When you are in school, people will ask you: how is school? which grade are you at? What you wanna be when you grow up? When you are working, people would ask you: So what do you do? Still not married? What are you waiting for? When you have a family, they would say: till when you live in a rented home? When will you build your own home?
These social conversations all conform you gotta do something to fit in the society and meet people expectations of you. It is like a script we follow and do in our daily lives.
Our brains are created in such away to attach and hold on to something. Otherwise we feel lost and lack purpose and meaning in life.
We can’t deny the pressure received from the environment around us including our family and friends. In the midst of that pressure, its challenging to find your own voice and truth.
To do that, one needs to block a lot of noises. Sitting down by yourself alone is the first thing. Many might say: How can I sit alone? They would think I am strange. The truth is you can be on your own and its ok for people to perceive you in whatever they want. The reality is other people thoughts and expectations are not in our hands and control. Why? Because everyone has an individual and separate mind. Everyone thinks in their own way, space, timing and preference.
Second, allow yourself to be who you are. If you are sensitive, introvert, shy, quite or whatever, its fine. Allow others to see you as you are without any manipulative games
Third is express your thoughts about embarrassment and shame to yourself in the form of writing or audio recording. This gives you an idea where you are with shame and embarrassment and how to detangle yourself from it.
Fourth is read documentaries and stories of people who fought their way to live and face people. There are authors who share their stories and what they did to move on. This gives us a companion that we are not alone in this. Many people faced the same dilemma and managed to process it and move ahead in life.
At the end, when I think of shame and embarrassment, I remember this recite in the Holy Book of Quran when Allah says: “There is no embarrassment in the truth”. Whatever is your truth, don’t be embarrassed. Remember that people are just people in whatever positions they hold. Remember that people we get embarrassed from are created by One God who sees them, hears them and knows their intentions and thoughts.