Individual-Focus or Community-Focus?
With the industrial revolution and the life set-up we live at the moment, you find people living isolating lives. People divided into small unity families consisting of mother, father and children only. When you face a problem or need help, you get this sign: You are alone in this. You are a responsible person. It is your responsibility. You live on your own. You have got to manage it on your own.
With appreciating our individual responsibility concept, this cultural and societal myth increases the tension of isolation and disconnection. Instead of expressing a person’s need with openness, authenticity and acceptance, you find the person stuck, don’t know what to do, where to go, whom to talk to and decides to remain lonely and isolated.
This sends a belief to the majority which is: This is your mess. This is your problem. We all are busy. We all have problems. You have got to sort out your mess.
To remember, in such a context, it is not actually the problem to solve. It is not the mess to sort out. It is just the person needing to be heard, understood, seen and accepted. When you face tensions and pressure whether at work, family, finances and studies, in many times, actually you don’t need a solution or a quick-fix thing. You only need a present ear ready to listen and understand.
It is so unrealistic to expect this from one person like your parent, sibling, spouse, neighbour or best friend. That one person you rely on could be overwhelmed, not ready, psychologically not capable or just doesn’t understand where you are in life. And that is ok.
However, the other concept that was used long time ago is called the community-focus principle. It is allowing the sense of community, people with similar likes, dislikes, problems and interests to join you in your conversations and activities. That is where you get the big picture thinking and the necessary support you need.
If you ask: What is the community-focus principle? Well it is a group of people who are also interested in the similar topic as you. Nowadays with the help of the Internet, you find communities for wellness, mental and emotional health, physical fitness, spirituality, finances, relationship, personal growth, sports, arts and any other area you can think of.
Such communities have daily conversations and help and support each other. It doesn’t mean you are being needy, helpless and pathetic approaching a community. Instead, it rather enforces the idea that you are actually not alone in this. You can always get the support you need when you go out there and ask for it.