How to open up?

If you live in a society and environment where you received messages to keep quite, to numb your voice, to please, then how to open up would be a hard and difficult question to answer.

But how would things shift for us if we just open up to each other? How would the conversations be like when people are just themselves real and authentic without pretending or faking? Those questions are worth thinking about if you are tired of closing off and isolating yourself.

I think our mental interpretations play a big role here. Some beleive that opening up could cause rejection or unnecessary conflicts. Others think it is better to keep quite to maintain the peace around them. But then in the long run, you find people are disconnected from each other. The conversations become artificial and fake. Chances to be real and get to know each other well reduce.

So to answer the question: How to open up? First thing is get to know yourself first. What is going on inside yourself? What thoughts are running in your mind? What energizes you and what closes you off?

Second get to know your mental interpretations about the interactions with people. I think these are formed very early from childhood. If you lived with parents and families who beleived people are not trustworthy, your mental interpretation could be: I can’t trust anyone. I can’t just go and network with people without knowing them better in advance. Or if you started your early days living in isolation and disconnect, today you may find it hard or uncomfortable to connect unless you use lots of efforts from your side.

So familiarizing yourself with this part would shed light on why you behave the way you do and how you can breakfree.

Third start practicing to open up slowly. Whether you are at home with your family, or at the grocery store talking with the cashier, or on a phone call chatting with your friend. Just practice using the baby step idea. Slowly you would find yourself becoming more comfortable and less nervous during your social interactions.

At the end, opening up in conversations create interesting magic and flavour. The misunderstandings and conflicts smooth out. The conversation becomes rich of new ideas, acceptance, humility and honesty. Also the people involved in the conversation become more interested and excited to have such conversations again.