How to cope with rejection?

Rejection and abandonment has different meanings for different people. Some see it as something to avoid and suppress. Others see it as an opportunity to seek, try and confront no matter what.

An interesting part here is your internal dialogue about it. When you face rejection, what do you tell yourself? Is it really about you or is it something else? When we take rejection personally and make it about ourselves, it places unnecessary weight on our shoulders. For example, if your friend rejected your opinions for whatever reason and you take it personally, you would do your best efforts to fix the situation. Why? Because you think it is about you. You are the reason. And you have to do something to fix it.

I think the best place we can start here is instead of looking at others, look at yourself. What is it about you that makes rejection hard to handle? What is it that makes you hide and isolate yourself? Remember your thoughts are only thoughts. They are not fixed. You can change them if they don’t serve you today.

Many times we stick to our childhood memories. We own them. We treasure them. To some people, it is everything. Look at your childhood as something to learn and reflect from and not as something to struggle with and get stuck there.

A common myth that causes the struggle with rejection is we think we are inter-related, linked and connected in thoughts and feelings. Actually we are not. Although we all are humans, but we think differently and have different levels, speeds and intensity of our thinking and imagination. I like these recites in the Holy Book of Quran where Allah says: You have your deeds and I have my deeds. What you do affects you and what they do affects them. And the best of all, we all are dead.

Those Quran recites encourage to separate yourself from others in your thinking and feeling. It is not your job to fix others. It is not your duty to manipulate others’ thinking and feelings. You have got to realize your footings and boundaries and what you stand for.

Once you sort that out, then rejection becomes something to deal with and cope rather than something to hide from and escape. You would start looking at your life as an advanturous thrilling experience. You would start taking actions and making decisions that would surprise and amaze you.

All the best processing and coping with rejection.