Fix Them or Fix You?

When we see situations that don’t serve us, we try to fix the situation by fixing other people. Let me give you an example: You are at work. You have been working for some time and you are not promoted. So you think you have to please your boss and be closer to him. So that he notices your work and knows more about you. At the end your boss rewards another person and not you.

This is what I mean by fixing others to make the situation serve you best. The same dilemma we apply in other areas of life too like with our spouses, family members and maybe friends. However, with life experiences, I notice, although this attitude could serve you in the short run, in the long run it doesn’t. You lose your authenticity and your true self. You become a victim to the situation and people. You give your power away to others by believing that if they change, that would solve all your problems.

But what if instead of fixing others, you turn the attention to you? What if the root cause of the problem is actually you and not others? I am not blaming or judging you. But rather I am encouraging you to shift your focus here from people to yourself for a moment. What if it was all in you all this time and you never realized it until today? What if you worked on yourself internally, you would never need to go back to change or fix other people behaviours? How would that scenario feel like for you?

I personally like to take ownership and personal responsibility in my daily actions and behaviours. Because we were born separately as individual human beings, each one of us has the unique potential to add into every situation we pass by. Whether you have a family problem, financial crisis, a career you don’t like or a loss of meaning in living life, in many cases it is only your perspective towards the situation. Your understanding. Once you sort that out, then your actions and behaviours would follow automatically.

So if maybe I don’t want to take this in, the fixing me idea. What if I just do an experiment to test it for a while. Let us say I have a financial problem. Instead of fixing my boss or blaming the management, what if I take the full charge of that situation and say: Ok. Its all on me. There is no hero or rescuer who would come save me. What about my finances? What are my expenses? What about my income? What could be other potential areas to increase my income? If I invest in that platform, could I reduce the number of years paying that housing debt? What if I take my numbers game seriously and pay attention to how I run my finances monthly?

Just try the idea for some time and see how it relieves you from lots of blame and judging other people and situations. This gives you personal ownership and makes you empowered and inspired to come up with ideas and creativity. Don’t give up on yourself. Don’t lose hope. Since you are still here breathing, seeing, hearing and sensing, you do have the inner potential and possibility to transform yourself and your life.