Be kind to yourself

Sometimes when we cross through tough situations, we start doubting ourselves: What did I do? Did I miss a thing here? Maybe it was my fault. How come I didn’t think about that. How come it didn’t cross my mind? And on and on the mental cycle keeps going.

Nowadays I look at the self-blame as an interesting friend who needs to be talked to, explored, have conversations with and find out the reasons of its activeness. An antidote as well is the compassionate enquiry. Compassionately ask that doubting part of you: What is it? What do you think? What causes you to think that way? That is interesting, tell me more. Ok. Interesting. What else?

When you do that, you find yourself opening up more. The blame and judge can’t be very active in such inner space.

One thing as well that we forgetfully do is blaming ourselves for things that are not in our control. For example, you missed an appointment with the doctor. Then your symptoms became worse. You didn’t know. You didn’t expect it. Now you blame yourself for missing that appointment with the doctor.

Give yourself the grace. You are human. You exist in this physical world. You see, hear, touch and feel. You can’t really tell about the future except predicting with your limited capacities and focusing on your present.

It is fine if life goes up and down. It is ok if your life is not fixed and feels like you are in a rollercoaster. It is normal to find yourself switching from one spot to another so quickly and suddenly. Remember with whatever incident you face, appreciate your humanness. Be vulnerable and humble enough to come down to earth, pray, ask and reveal whatever is in your heart and chest to the One.

By doing that, you would be less judging and more accepting, peaceful and serene when experiencing your life events.