Anxiety, Worry and Overthinking
We think. We overthink. And then we repeat thinking again.
But why is that? Why we keep thinking the same thoughts? Why we go back to the same pattern of thoughts whether it is fear, doubt, worry, overthinking and stress?
We may think it is preparing for the next. It keeps us ready when sudden situations pop up. It tells us the steps we need to take in the following day. It prepares the scenarios we need to tell when a person asks.
But then when I look at this habit from a distance, it is like a mental cycle. It takes you out from your experiential living and keeps you stuck in your thinking habit. I admire those who just live their lives without spending majority of their time thinking and worrying.
When I remember this information that our brains have got a part responsible for the safety and survival of our human species, it makes a lot of sense. That’s why we get triggered. That’s why we get pulled into our thinking habits in such away we forget our presence and the experience of our daily life.
Some examples of scenarios where we forgetfully use this mental habit are:
Your boss gives you your performance appraisal report and you mentally prepare how to defend yourself.
Your spouse tells you about the gathering invitation and you mentally repeat thinking how to say no and justify yourself.
Your colleague tells you all about their personal problems and you internally keep thinking when is he going to finish.
And there are many other scenarios similar as well. The worst thing about this habit, although you may still believe it brings you benefits, is it keeps you doing the same habits for longer periods of time. If you want to change something in you, it becomes hard because you are stuck in your thinking habit.
There are many situations that require you to take action, change something, or maybe just live your life simply and humbly. But when you spend most of your precious time in your head, you lose the sweet taste of life. Life is precious. The earth under you. The sky above you. The living creatures you get to see. The smell of the air enters you. The picture of your life you get to experience whether it is your kids growing up, your daily career, your communication with your spouse, your routines at home or outside. All these are precious living experiences we have but when we think, overthink, repeat and worry, we get out of living life fully.
So now if you reached this far reading, you may wonder: How can I balance between thinking and living life? Well I am sorry to tell you it is not that easy but it is possible and doable.
The first thing I personally like to do is to pay attention to the surroundings. What I am holding in my hands. What do I see. The temperature of the air I breath. The ground where I put my feet. The cold breeze touching my skin. When I do this, I remember I am alive. I exist. I am here. Whatever is running through my head is an illusion. The truth is here, now and the present moment.
Second is write about your worries and stresses in your journal book. Just write without judging or thinking. I call this process: Brain dump. You dump whatever mental baggage you hold into paper. Then after you finish, read what you wrote. Now you will be aware what keeps you stuck in one place. You would realize your mental habits and if they need any processing or modification.
Third, take it easy. Take it as one baby step at a time. We might want to do everything at once and get frustrated if we don’t. But remember it is not the outcome. It is the process and the journey of how you will get there. Don’t stress yourself or blame or judge. Your mind is like a child. You need to be gentle and kind with it. Respect its capacity and level of learning. Understand its process and functions. And accordingly go with it slowly step by step.
Enjoy learning about your mental health and practicing the action steps to have a healthy balance in your mental wellbeing.