Who is responsible for your feelings?

There is this myth rooming around for generations which is: they are responsible for how I feel. If they are happy, I will be fine. If they are pleased, I will be ok. If they feel good, I am on the safe side.

This myth resonates very well with people who come from shaky backgrounds and uncontained childhoods. If you experienced your feelings didn’t matter, people easily get triggered, the suppression and avoidance of feelings, people fixing each other behaviors, people cautious of others’ feelings and thoughts as if you are walking on egg shells. Then today you may follow this myth.

Looking at this myth from a distance, it causes you to live an unauthentic life. It forces you to hide your truth. It numbs your voice. It makes your behaviours fake. It makes your social interactions less meaningful and honest.

But what if we turn the coin for a minute? What if we say: It is you who is solely responsible for your own feelings and not others? What if your feelings are actually yours only and not anyone else’s? What if it is ok for people to have different and contradicting feelings? What if people can afford to live and mingle up together with their diverse feelings and thoughts? How would people be living together if that was true?

It is essential to reflect on this myth because that would shape the remaining of your life experiences. To seek for the truth, you may also use the deathbed perspective. Watching your loved one suddenly dies, what is the role of this myth in this context? If you are really responsible for other people feelings, then why when they die, you are not anymore?

I let you continue this reflective process and find out for yourself the truth.