What is your language?

Each one of us has a language while communicating. I don’t mean the language you speak (English or Arabic or Swahili or French or others). I am talking about the type of interactive language that speaks to you directly and resonates with you. For example, the language of using words can truly affect someone. This is especially applicable when you hear a woman telling her spouse: you don’t tell me I love you. You don’t tell me nice things about myself.

Another language type is the use of actions. For instance, you can see a father who shows his care and empathy towards his child through helping him with homework or going out together on a boys night.

Also another type of language is the presence. When you notice a person always present, who is always there. That itself is a language too.

If each one of us has a different language type when we communicate and interact with each other, how come we blame each other for not getting the communication we want? Definitely we will come to misunderstandings and conflicts because we expect everyone to use the same language that we use which is not possible.

To understand better about the other person’s language, let us be curious about the communicative patterns of each other. Let us open our minds towards the different forms and styles of communication that happen daily. Let us not judge a person’s way of communicating. Instead, let us explore and ask the person: what speaks to you? Is it words? Actions? Presence? A smile? A gift? A surprise? Quality time together? Speaking on the phone? Is it texting? Is it face to face? What is it?