Stillness in Conversations

When interacting with people, sometimes you find those little quite pauses in the conversation. Then you wonder: What is going on? What does she think of? Did I make her upset?

Those quite moments are best to be utilized for reflection and stillness. It is normal when you find your mind wonders, assumes and wants to intervene and fix. But when you tap into that stillness in the conversation purposely, interesting flavour appears. It can be the flow of the conversation, the acceptance of both the persons, people taking their time to process their independent thoughts or it is just people being present in the moment.

It can be challenging to use this concept when your mind is always triggered and overstimulated. Just imagine a conversation where people just talk, placing labels on each other, having rigid expectations of how the conversation should be like and judging all the time. Such conversations would hardly reach anywhere.

From personal experience, to adopt stillness in the conversation it is important to learn to be fully present and mentally and emotionally available in your own head. What thoughts are running through your mind? What emotions you feel in your body? What is your approach towards the conversation? What type of relationship you have towards yourself and others?

When you do this inner work, your mental and emotional triggers slow down. You find yourself calming down, breathing intentionally and developing more awareness of yourself and others too.

It is such a soothing and comforting state to be in when you do this reflective process regularly. Experiment with it for a week or two and see for yourself the possible changes in the conversation.