Psychologically Different

In intimate relationships, its common to find each other in different psychological states. Maybe you are overloaded, overwhelmed and he also is stressed and busy searching for solutions for problems.

Interestingly we think because we are in an intimate relationship (e.g. husband and wife), we should fulfill each other’s emotional requirements. Because I miss him, we should go out and spend some time together. Because you are overwhelmed, you assume the emotional fulfillment needs to happen with your spouse only.

I think this is a very strict and limited way of thinking. If your spouse can really be available for you mentally and emotionally whenever you need him, then he is not a human being. He is a superman or superhero.

When you objectively understand about emotions and psychological states, you realize it doesn’t make any sense to expect your spouse or best friend to be available for you any time to want to.

Actually, it is a part of life to find partners busy in different life directions. It is ok if both the spouses are psychologically not available for each other at certain phases of life. It all depends on the context, the life phase happening, the coping mechanism and mental and emotional backgrounds that both the individuals possess at that moment of time.

So, accept the differences you have with your spouse. Develop an objective understanding about the psychological state of yourself and your partner. And review and discuss your expectations and your partner’s expectations and keep them flexible during certain periods of time.