How to know if your child is being sexually abused?
One of the precious gifts in life is our children. With all the work and domestic obligations they bring us, they also fill our lives with laughter, joy and sweet moments.
When raising them, you could face situations that can shock you and leave you speechless. One is sexual abuse. It can come in many forms and levels starting from only a conversation and watching a video together, to a touch and then to the worst.
We want our kids to be protected all the time. But such situations can happen and for us as parents or caregivers at least to be equipped and ready when they pop up unexpectedly.
The early sign to look for is first your child’s behaviour around the housemaid. Are they very close like besties or best friends? Do they share things like towels or blankets? Do they give each other sweet nicknames? You many wonder: Isn’t it a positive thing when the child gets along well with the housemaid? It depends. Not necessarily. If their relationship is too close, then that is an early sign you need to be aware of.
Second is notice if your child and the housemaid has got moments where they are left alone. Observe if your housemaid takes chances to be with your child alone. Never be naive or postive in such situations. Sometimes its good to have negative expectations and open your mind to the worst to get prepared and be ready.
Third is your sense and guts about the situation. As a parent, when there is something happening behind your back, you will get a sense of it indirectly. Never ignore it. Keep your attention and guard alert when you suspect something is happening.
When you spot those early signs, it is time to have a private one to one conversation with your child. Children in these circumstances get scared and nervous and prefer to keep quite and isolated. In this case, keep your communication line open and regular with your child. Reduce you being busy for some time and increase the times you talk with your child. Take many chances to be with your child here like studying, making their bed, talking before bedtime or having conversations with every meal you have together.
You may wonder: How can I talk to my child about this and ask if there is something happening. Well you don’t get there directly. It starts gradually with normal conversations about daily staff like studies, favourite entertainment places, any challenges they face in school or whatever daily talks. The more comfortable your child is in the conversation, the easier it is to start opening up to you. Be patient and keep talking with your child.
Apart of the conversations also, make sure you make it clear to your child what is normal and what is not. They don’t know and they need guidance and clarification. For instance, what is a normal touch and what isn’t? What is a normal hug and what isn’t? Who is allowed to be close you and who isn’t? When to suspect if the behaviour is not appropriate? Keep your communication about this topic very open and regular. So if your child sees something, they could easily come up to you and tell you.
At the end, we sometimes avoid this topic because it is painful and uncomfortable. But talking about it, making it well explained and clear can reduce its awkwardness and make it easy for your child to talk to you about it.